Enjoy Memorial Day weekend – if you can beat the traffic

A day to live in memory

Memorial Day. It is a time to remember the patriots who gave their lives.

I once mentioned that the little section of New York City to the east was so crowded on Memorial Day weekend that Steven Spielberg could only get from East Hampton to Bridgehampton by bike.

And the Hampton Inn in Hampton Bays?

A woman – 30 years old – had to wait in line for 40 minutes for breakfast.

Finally a waitress dropped her at a table and said, “You’re not going to like it here. This place is for young people.”


It’s the art of the party

Mark Kostabi’s accelerated paintings. The routine is snacks in his house, as well as collectors, as well as various types of actresses, as well as former Letterman drummer Anton Vig, as well as a mother whose son owns the “Joy Luck Club”, as well as a jazz musician, as well as a promoter who works in Fashion models. So everyone stares at them as well as his paintings to see which looks best.

Nailing a living person paying the mortgage on his joint in Rome where he does the same thing. How Rembrandt succeeded in doing this, I do not know.


bad manners

“George Washington’s Rules for Civility” is a gentle book. Copyright 2003, Goose Creek Press and translated from the French. Translated from French and edited by John T. Phillips II, he says: “In 1745, a 13-year-old schoolboy in Virginia codified a long set of social rules.” That young man was Georgie.

It dictates morality. Like page 63: “Let your clothes not be filthy, torn, dusty, or torn.”

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I’m not suggesting opening up your enhanced breasts — as is the case today — or injecting your back girth near a buffet.

Who knew that George – who had been chewing with wooden teeth until now – was so meticulous.


Brake release time

For cheap, here are the places to go this weekend: Rockaway, Nantucket, Lake George, Newport, Bear Mountain, Catskills, Adirondacks Or just stay home and order food.

Understand that it’s crowded highways, lousy drivers, expensive gas, crowded flights and you’ll still have to fight ants.

Celebrated 156 years ago, the federal holiday was once called Decoration Day — the time when deli ordered your takeout.

Rich people like Beyoncé, Mark Wahlberg, Eva Longoria, and DiCaprio, who vacation from bed to bed, go to nearby Palm Springs.

It’s an area where anyone driving less than a Maserati is considered luxury.

For the poverty-stricken, there’s Miami and Ocean City, located in an area called Maryland, as well as what is clearly heaven on earth – Pigeon Forge in downtown Tennessee.

If there’s a few dollars left over after New York taxes and what goes into traffic, plus whatever extra we get for Judge Donald’s retirement, you can always make a quick dash to Jamaica, Vegas, Paris, Bermuda, or Ibiza—or the places where the rumors are rife. He says Meghan may have investigated getting Prince Harry’s type.

If you’re in Jersey, call Menendez who may not have enough gold bullion to even hit Atlantic City. Or if you’re desperate enough to be stuck in Delaware, visit a bank and send Hunter a few dollars.

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I’m off on Monday, Memorial Day. It’s a good time to remember patriotic songs like “God Bless America,” “America the Beautiful,” “Big Old Flag,” and “Yankee Doodle Dandy.”

May we all be together instead of apart. May we be proud to live in the United States.

Only in the USA, kids, only in the USA.

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