Auburn pays New Mexico State $1.85 million, and loses

Welcome to our Week 12 college football grades. Don’t worry, sad Michigan fans, this is the penultimate post of the year. After spending all week emailing me and tweeting nonsense, you can have some crow for dinner… while your crow actually sips some tea.

The same goes for grades from last season: high grades will only be for the stunner, and failing grades have no chance of being relegated.

Last week’s low scores went to the aforementioned school, also known as “America’s Team,” which went from high and strong to buckling under pressure as the sign-stealing investigation continued.

Here’s a Week 12 breakdown of how fans, teams, players and coaches fared:

Auburn is rocking the supposed cupcakes

For the past three years, this space has given failing grades to schools that schedule lower teams in this part of November — often paying them millions because they have the ability, and the gall, to do so.

The moment the calendar turns to November, we can look forward to Mariah Carey coming out of hiding, cheesy and unrealistic Lexus commercials, and people putting up Christmas decorations too early. In the southeastern part of the country, schools also begin the season of giving; FCS and Group of Five schools litter the schedule, and the spoils of being a Power Five institution shine brightly.

But sometimes it backfires in spectacular ways, as happened Saturday in Auburn, Alabama. The financially savvy Tigers gave nearly $2 million to New Mexico State, who laughed about that direct deposit all the way Win 31-10 And its first win ever over an SEC team. Unfortunately for Auburn, the Aggies are no slouch this season, improving to 9-3.

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Maybe Auburn fans can use the toilet paper they would have thrown over the oak trees at Toomer’s Corner to clean up after their team.

Three hours to the northwest, FCS’s Alabama and Chattanooga came together in what amounted to a $600,000 payday for the Mocs and the equivalent of a seven-on-seven exercise for the Mocs. Winners 66-10 In crimson.

Florida State, fighting for a playoff berth, paid a modest $400,000 to North Alabama…and lost a quarterback in the process.

Let it rain:F

They said that:

“This is the life we ​​chose. This world to me is always like the mafia. You get hired, eventually you get beat up, and you live as much as you can in between,” Nebraska coach Matt said. Don’t roll, Who earns $5.5 million To portray the Godfather of the Cornhusker Nation.

Worse and better than the rest

Living under a rock:

Bathing in Gatorade:

It’s Dolly’s World:

This week’s tribute to Don Pepe:

This week’s tribute to Deshaun Jackson:

Handling the necessary exercises:

In this club:

Beijing ‘and six’:

Statistics for you

8: Total touchdowns by LSU quarterback Jayden Daniels vs. Georgia State (6 passing, 2 rushing).

19: Interceptions this season by Oklahoma and Liberty, leading the nation.

33: The rushing touchdowns North Texas has allowed in 11 games is the only FBS team to allow 30 or more this season.

88: Passing yards for Penn State against Rutgers, a week after offensive coordinator Mike Yurcich was fired.

1000: Wins in Michigan program history.

26,000: James Madison’s estimated attendance on ESPN’s “College GameDay.”

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$1.85 million: The amount New Mexico State received for a trip to Auburn.

Dog of the week

The pups had the week off but enjoyed this beauty:

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